How Can I Prevent My Children From Fighting Over My Belongings After I Die?

You probably own some items of real or sentimental value (jewelry, antiques, art, heirlooms, furniture, clothing, etc.) that you want a certain child, grandchild, special friend, relative, or organization to have after you die.

Or maybe you just want to provide some orderly way for your belongings to be divided among your heirs after you’re gone. We’ve all heard stories about people fighting over grandma’s piano or china. The damage is often so deep that siblings don’t speak with each other for the rest of their lives.

At Sjoberg & Tebelius, P.A., we help our clients establish a comprehensive estate plan according to their wishes that helps avoid the risk of a family fight. Contact us for a confidential legal consultation. Call 651-315-8856 to reach our office. We help clients in Minnesota and western Wisconsin.

Here are some suggestions that can help you prevent family disputes.

Make a Special Gifts list: If you have a will or a living trust, you can make a list of special items, identifying the intended recipient of each. Date the list (and follow any other requirements your attorney advises you of) and keep it with your important documents. If you change your mind, just make a new list and follow the same protocols.

To prevent disagreements about your intentions, be very specific. If your list is long, make a separate list for each person. If your estate is sizeable, or if a gift is of substantial value, have your attorney review your list to resolve potential tax issues or possibly incorporate the list more formally into your plan.

Ask what they want: Ask your children and others if there is something special of yours they would like to have. There may be an item that has special meaning to someone that you aren’t even aware of. Wouldn’t it be nice to know that?

Make gifts now: It is often a good idea to make gifts now, especially if it is something that you no longer need, or if you are concerned there might be a problem later on.

Hold a family “sale” now: Gather your kids some weekend or holiday and have them take turns selecting items they want. You can play referee. If one item proves popular, let them bid against each other or make trades. Then write up a list for each person. What doesn’t “sell” to family members can be sold in an estate sale after you die and the proceeds divvied up. (If your family is reluctant to do this, tell them you’ll leave instructions for everything to be sold after you die.)

Write a description: If an item has sentimental value or is a family heirloom, leave a written description or story behind. How else will they know that the turkey platter has been in the family since the Civil War? If the item is large enough, label it on the back.