The Decision to Divorce with Attorney David K. Meier
The decision to divorce is not one to be taken lightly. Attorney Dave Meier discusses the decision-making process, and the question he asks every client before proceeding in their case.
“I think I’ll divorce my spouse today,” is not something one says to themselves without serious consideration and thought. Ending a marriage is a big deal. Lots of commitments have been made, kids, home investments. Decisions about school and work were made while married. We have opened ourselves completely to this other person. That is not thrown away casually. I’ve made it a practice to always ask a new client once, “Are you sure?”
I’m not trying to judge. I’m not trying to cause pain or consternation. I just want the client to know that at no time during the doing divorce will anyone else ever ask or ever question that with them. I don’t ask the question lightly. By the time someone comes into an attorney’s office, they have spent months and sometimes years considering this decision.
They have usually shared the issue with a close friend or family member, but you would be surprised to know many, many people want to talk with an attorney to learn about the process, to learn about possible outcomes before they make a final decision to divorce. We can never assume anything.
In my first few years of practice, I met with a young man about a divorce. As we were talking, he offered that he didn’t think he could stay married to his wife because she put on a few pounds. I was stunned. That seemed to be a very shallow excuse to leave his wife.
Before I could say anything however, he added that she had just had a baby. At that, I decided I was not the attorney for that guy, and I cut the conference short. I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I told him, “Generally, people divorce for more important reasons.” Now, divorce may be a necessary option, but the result is life-changing, costly, impactful on the kids and also on both parties. It should not be entered into lightly.
My experience is that people come to see an attorney when they have lost hope, hope that they can maintain a relationship with their spouse. Indifference toward one another is the most common excuse that I hear as a divorce lawyer. My advice? When you are considering a divorce, listen to those that truly love you. Share your thoughts, your feelings, your attitudes. They will give you good feedback, and they will either affirm your potential decision or they will help you find your hope.
In any event, it is important to address and consider the non-legal aspects of this decision to divorce. We will do that at Sjoberg & Tebelius. We won’t rush this decision. We will counsel and project without making any assumptions. That’s a promise. Thank you.