Divorce and conflict typically go hand-in-hand. This is especially true if you are divorcing someone who wants to make the divorce difficult. Every discussion can erupt into a fight; mediation can be unsuccessful; the process could take much longer and be more expensive than you anticipated.
That said, there are ways to make this process easier for you and your family.
Helping your children
As this article discusses, there are numerous ways you can protect your children in high-conflict divorces. Suggestions include:
- Not involving your children in the discord
- Focusing on being a parent and being present for them
- Maintaining a stable, reliable network of people your children know and trust
- Using caution when starting new relationships
Taking care of yourself
Divorce takes a toll on everyone. You can be better equipped to handle these challenges when you are taking care of yourself. This might involve:
- Starting a new hobby
- Seeing a therapist or counselor to manage your emotional well-being
- Refraining from drugs and alcohol
- Staying off social media if it is causing anxiety or anger
Fulfilling obligations to your ex
You may have no desire to make divorce easier for your ex, but you also do not want to give him or her any reason to start another fight. As such, you should:
- Be on time to custody exchanges
- Communicate in writing if there is an issue
- Pay all support on time
- Comply with the terms of your settlement or custody arrangement
You cannot control an ex who wants to fight, or who is determined to make divorce as difficult as possible. However, you can take these steps to protect your kids and yourself and avoid unnecessary arguments.
You can also consult an attorney who can work on your behalf to pursue specific outcomes so that you can minimize any direct contact or negotiations with a volatile ex. You may not be able to avoid every fight, but with these steps and with competent legal representation, it can be easier to get through this difficult time.