You may be ready to say, “I do,” and spend the rest of your life with your partner, but you can still be interested in protecting yourself as an individual. Thus, you may be considering having a prenuptial agreement.
You are not alone. One poll shows that about 40 percent of married or engaged people between 18 and 34 have prenuptial agreements. Creating a prenup can be difficult to discuss with your partner, but there are ways to make it easier.
Focus on the facts
A matter-of-fact approach can be crucial when discussing issues like prenups. While these talks can be emotional, focusing on facts can help you both be open and honest.
For instance, a pragmatic approach can work best when talking about why you want a prenup. Were your parents in a messy divorce you want to avoid? Do you have specific property or a business you want to protect? Are you concerned about debt?
These elements are less emotional and more rooted in facts and experience, making the conversation less volatile.
Take note of questions
Come to the discussion prepared with questions you have or anticipate your partner will have. Doing so can help you think of things from their perspective and offer solutions. It can also ensure the conversation is a two-way street.
Keep in mind that you may not have all the answers to questions that come up. Financial and legal uncertainty is not uncommon. Keep track of the unanswered questions, look into them later, or discuss them with your attorneys.
Make a plan to come back to it
Creating a prenuptial agreement is typically not a one-and-done conversation. Even if you are on the exact same page as each other, it can still be crucial that you each consult an attorney before signing any agreements, especially because each state has its own requirements, and a poorly drafted prenup is easily undone.
Based on these consultations, you might decide to negotiate different terms or make changes before you are sure you are happy with the prenup.
Because of this, after your first and subsequent discussions about a prenuptial agreement, make sure you plan your next steps. Doing so can keep the process moving forward so that you have everything resolved before your wedding. Avoid the situation where you’re dashing to an attorney just days before the wedding, thinking you can throw something together on the fly. We see this all too often!